It's funny how the older I get, the less I understand. It's hard to demonstrate and discuss really, but the point is that I'm confused and cluttered. The more I begin to divest my baggage, the more space I feel with energy, time, and spirit. The time part might sound obvious, but there's definitely something beyond the level you're imagining. It's all just a bunch of burdon really. What I'm doing is manic and impulsive -- but really only counteracts that which brought me here firstly. Ok something else. I don't think anyone's as nervous as they should be. Maybe some people are, but I think it's safe to presume that otherwheres, they're a bit more anticipatory than those within. I really can't discuss this outside the interior of my own thought and imagery, so let's forget the whole thing. I've thus far walked my Tessbucket three times today. Some treks were greater in length than others, but she does seem a bit like exhausted. So she's lying beside the door while I listen to Nina Nastasia's. Of course, by the way, anything with sentiment will stay. Anyway I'll use what I'm doing to climb myself out, and hopefully reach an equilibrium with most everything that has one to be reached. It'd be nice to be closer at least! And yes it coincides with what are the happenings with my diet and activity, but I just feel LARGER. That's obviously also something that simply cannot be translated. I submitted a couple more applications today, and asked for more elsewheres as well. Let's hope something happens soon -- what do you think, Kat? Anyway I'm winded in and outside of this writing, so I'm going to do something else. Thank you guys for listening to me -- you really are the only ones who understand.

Courtesy of the ever entertaining MBIMOTMOG.

I like your plan Mr. Soup.

D- I'm coming for my ketchup after work.

I have a friend named Katie. Well, you know I likely have several, but this Katie has a son. Several years ago she lost her man in a motorcycle accident. The boy is now about eight, and they're doing fine thanks. But at some point following the incident, Katie began noticing that she had been seeing dimes on the street, floor, and ground more than usual. It became more common as time passed, and the frequency of these crossings got to be so incredibly uncanny that she decided to search the internet on the subject of finding dimes. What she found were several testimonials, written by people who had also lost and were mourning dear loved ones. I was in New York with Katie, and she found one after stepping off the plane, upon getting onto a subway, while walking out on the streets, and at least one more. That was within two or three days. Now of course it's not that strange, these things happen, but I couldn't help but feel this overwhelming urge to cry and cry when the situation was explained to me. That gives the unseen energy of it all a bit more cred -- know what I mean? Anyway, the internet is really starting to freak me out. By the way Soup get that catsup OUT of my refrigerator because I will throw it out if I keep having to see its nastiness in my house. But the internet is seriously starting to freak me out. I'm so confused because I never really can tell what a person's motive for anything is but at the same time of course I totally can -- and do. There's always been a strong sense of intuition concerning people somewhere inside, and while so many hide behind these internet masks, believing themselves to be disguised or ambiguous, really they're just making themselves so catergorizable and obvious. Seriously I can't believe I wrote that because I have really no idea to which parties or happenings I'm referring. Maybe everyone feels like this, I don't know. The point is, I can't wait until I don't have any of this anymore. Take it all -- and I hope I never want it back. I am so miserable at work today and my being in such a baseless foul state is a rare thing. Ok wait I feel better. Tessa will be in Madison this weekend -- or should I go to Chicago with my mom?

Sherah: The second to last sentence in this may or may not be the most ridiculously funny thing I've ever read.

Sounds like a plan.

Soup, are you saying you want to YUMMY BUFFET? Cause that would be awesome, if that is what you are saying. 7, followed by some darts perhaps?

YUMMY BUFFET!!!

Yesterday after leaving work, I took a little trip down Fish Hatch to the Copps Food Emporium. God my neck still hurts. Sometimes when you go shopping, you sort of get stuck on track with another shopper, and you keep passing himer in every aisle, you know? Now I don't wanna be mean or anything, so I've decided not to finish this story. Luckily I was able to meet Annie in person last night. I'm glad I know everyone on the blog again, because internet-only relationships are always a bit like strange. Yesterday, ask Soup and Kat, I was able to put my knees together, lock them, bend over, and place my palms flat against the floor. I've been conditioning myself for months to be able to do this -- so I'm going to need a new goal. The world is making it more and more difficult for me to send text messages to my eurofriends. When a subscriber to the services of T-Mobile, I was able to send them messages directly from my phone. Before that, I was able to use http://www.msn.de/ to send them. That feature has since been retracted, and now I am no longer a customer of T-Mobile. As I discussed with a few buddies last night, Sprint does all in a sort of weirdish format, so I'm not able to send messages abroad. The internet has been stripped of pretty much all means of sending these messages. I was once upon a time even able to send them from ICQ. Yesterday I discovered a site that offers ONE free SMS (as they call them) per day. Oh and I love how cliche this is about to sound. I clearly recall first landing in O'Hare, and the sinking that came with it. The cars, and the smell, and the woman talking about this delicious casserole she makes. That still makes me sick. I hated it for the longest time, and I was so ridiculously vocal about it. I eventually pushed all of that aside, as it was interfering and I guess I just had to grow used to what was happening -- but a kind of uncomfort has nonetheless remained attached across these years, more evident at times than others. I can be good at ignoring what I will. Anyway I've been weak. Just like I once would always say, boredom eats at me (nice and slowly). It really has been a while though; I had a good run there. Thunderstorms will draw the most peculiar confessions from people. Now some Britney: I was shaking my ass in the streets this morning. Yesterday I lied in my post when I said that I'd confronted wet pants. I don't know why I did it -- it just didn't feel like a lie. An hour or two later I was at the sink, filling up the watering canister, when the hose escaped and sprayed a stream all over my pants. God is just so fucking hilarious. I can't believe this is happening again.

It was raining on the way to work today so I was not particularily happy. I would much rather be back in bed watching 'The Princess Bride' at the moment. Just when this morning seemed absolutely terrible, I saw a woman letting her small, long, hairy, cute dog out of her car by Electric Earth. I stopped to admired the dog and then picked it up and used it to towel off my face. The morning is Looking Up.

Soup, Lets Get Some Food Tonight. Good Food.

vs.



I WIN!!!

I switched to tea instead of coffee, because if I'm going to pollute my body with caffiene I may as well get some antioxidant properties as well. The general health and well being of my body is something thats been worrying me more and more lately. Pretty much everything I do makes me feel like shit; eating, drinking, smoking, exercising. I've gained 10 pounds in the last 2 months and I'm at least 25 over a "healthy" weight. My gut feels like its about to implode due to my recently diagnosed ulcerative colitis. They are puting me and steriods to beat it into submission. I thought he was going to beat me into submission last night when I screwed up his and his body-builder girlfriends orders... twice. Its strange seeing a 2 buck ripped woman drink a glass of pinot grigio.

I was totally not cereal about the name spelling, but if it really bugs, I'll cut that shit off. Anyway, not that it's a massive issue or anything, but I'm not even sure if I'm going to do another project. It's so dangerous. Disgusting really. Speaking of which, I refuse to lick envelopes. It's one of those things that I can't believe people are just supposed to find normal. Oh and by the way, last week I dropped two packages in a postal box that said "metered mail." This was all on purpose, but what wasn't was my forgetting to stick the meter stamps on the parcels. I was a little disappointed because I figured I'd then have to wait for the pieces to be RTS'd to my house, then sent again -- with postage. They never arrived, but yesterday I found out that the recipients had received the packages. Whatevs. This is like traveling through time. I'M ALL THE WAY BACK UP HERE. I just wrote a list of about 50 other things I find digusting, but not only was I making myself sick, I didn't know how to stop -- and there were all kinds of lines I didn't feel like crossing. SO I deleted that list. Instead I'm just going to list a few revolting things that I've already confronted today: Wet pants. Balls of cotton. Centipedes. Any visible dirtiness on hands. Watching people eat doughnuts. OK wait I just did it again, and ended up deleting about 10 more. Thank Christ I can be so oblivious and/or forgetful, because when I really think about it, pretty much everything grosses me out. But as I was saying earlier, I'm considering doing another project. This would definitely be interesting for a few reasons. The first reason is simply because I haven't done anything in well over a year. The second is because I would be executing an idea similar to one that was meant to be done for my last project -- but the piece went askew for some unremembered reason. It was the same one (5' x 5' and 80 lbs) that took flight from the roof of my car on the interstate, shattering to pieces. Both tragic and perfect. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that John had had his haircut when I came in yesterday too.

PS: This is day 5 of my tightly confined but agonizing neck ache.

I just got back from a run, but unfortunately nothing exciting happened. Before this I spoke with my mother on the phone for a bit. That was just after I went to Mean Girls with Sheri and Nate. It was just as good the second time -- [*] was involved. I'd met up with Sheri and Nate before the movie, right after going to the fabric store with Lindsay. She plans to knit a jumpsuit for a Japanese baby. This was all of course after I'd left work though. I had little to do in the office, but I do remember watering the plants. This I do twice a week, and it's always my favorite. Last night I felt a sort of urge to cut my hair because it was totally bugging. This morning at work I saw that both Korey and Robert had shaved their heads. Teresa'd cut her bangs. Tom and Randy had been given haircuts. Pat's bald. Peter stayed home for housework. I asked about Sheri's photoshoot earlier because I found it a strange thing to read on Tuesday -- the fact that she was to partake in a photoshoot. The day before (the day I did not go to work), I was cleaning my car when a certain blog member approached. I pointed out my new mirror that I'd finally pulled from the back seat. I explained that I thought I might use it as another canvas -- but I didn't know who to use as a subject anyway. The blogger suggest she-rock. I thought about it, but said I didn't know if she could sit still long enough. OUCH. Anyway this was hours after picking up the application from The Camera Company. I went downtown because I felt like doing so, and after a while of walking, backtracked to see if Janice (Jason's sister) was working at Espresso Royale. I could do evening hours there. I walked in and saw her at the counter. I made my way towards her when I noticed Jason himself sitting at a table. I sat down and we discussed. He had just gotten there, and had an entire day of studying planned. Shortly thereafter, CJ called and told him to meet for lunch. This we did, but only after Jason had filed the Cafe application in his bag for safe-keeping. After eating, I left and promised not to bother the boy. I returned 30 minutes later after making two mistakes on the app. I sat with Jason again. I don't remember what we said, but I know I've never discussed my concerns about my graying hair situation. I pulled two out somewhere in the middle of writing this.

i'd like to contribute a photo essay on cranes, and how they are used by contemporary construction companies to create modern dwellings. would this be appropriate?

WHERE'S THE FLOSS AT?

Sheri, to be honest I don't understand a single one of your questions. I'll take each one in turn tonight if you come to Mean Girls. This will be my second time seeing it. Lohan is brilliant in it. The movie starts at 7.10. Just call me after 5 and we'll talk about meeting up.

We're going to see MEAN GIRLS tonight -- so anyone who wants to go should call me today.

What's this photoshoot madness all about anyway?

Here's a story that took place two nights ago on my way home from the Echo Tap. Well wait -- first I'm going to back up a few minutes. I want to demonstrate how my life works. I had been thinking about leaving the Tap for at least a half hour. Very suddenly I stood up without even telling myself to, said the byes, and left. I was walking on Main towards my house and just as I was about to cross Basset, a car sped by. I began to make my way across the street when I watched the car slam full speed into another car that had begun crossing Basset at Doty. I then altered my course by walking up Basset to inspect the situation. People (covered in airbag dusts) got out of their cars and made calls on their little phones. There was nothing I could have done, so I turned and walked down Doty. That same day I had not gone to work. I had forgotten that I was supposed to arrive at 6.00 am, and when people are asked to come in at this time, it's important that they do so. Only two people arrive that early, and it's not allowed for one to enter the building alone. This means that if one doesn't show up, the other has to wait around until someone else strolls in -- whenever that happens to be. So I woke up at 7 (like usual -- as I typically work at 8.00) and suddenly remembered what I had done. I had one of those just-awoke panic sessions and made up a story about a family emergency. In reality I could have gone in and it wouldn't have been too big of a deal. Classic action nonetheless. I sat around for a while, taking care of some business, when I decided to drive to the West Towne area and get an application for a second job at The Camera Company. I took a strange way for some reason. I went to University and just never felt like leaving the left-most lane. So this eventually turns into Old University -- which does me no good. I figured that I should be on Regent anyway, so I took a left by the stadium. There was a cop around and he played a part in my motives as well, but I don't want to get into that. Anyway I drove pretty slow down this stadium street because of that cop. Just as I got to Regent to make a right turn, the light turned red. After several seconds, I see my neigbor make a right turn from Regent onto the street I had just driven down. We wave.

More intensity!

What's up with this blog? We need more posting. I can tell you that I've been very busy on a top-secret mission, but what's everyone else's excuse? Let's see some convo action.

Wait, Anni was there last night? Why weren't we introduced? OMG

At least I got to meet Micah. I may or may not know EVERYONE on the Booty Ranch Blog now.

Also, did one of you momos borrow the movie Bully from me? I told someone I'd sell it to them, but I can't find it!

A Picture Share!

This picture was sent to my phone from Torri with a caption that read, "My Grandpa's prize holstein."