Shari my dear, I was not in the know, and please tell me your address because that sounds really great! I'm in town even though D's not.

D, it breaks all of our hearts to hear the disappointment in your voice. Today I felt powerful in my new green shirt. There are blonde children in my house; the siblings of my roommate who isn't supposed to live here anymore. They are arguing and asking their mother where their names came from. She is sipping her Heinekin (I'm having one too) and telling them, anticlimactically, about how she found Calla and Sage in a book. Shortly I am to sit on our front porch and watch the boys play basketball across the street with Amelia who has just opened a Heinekin of her very own. Last night I sang "Heard it Through the Grapevine" with my best friend Mollie at Karaoke Kid, because it was her twenty first birthday and we wanted to do something very special like that. Presently it has been announced that some kid who looks like David is here, and that means I should stop being anti-social and welcome my friend Charlie and do the porch with Amelia. I miss D. People may think they look alike but Charlie doesn't quite cut it.

Yeah you all came through really well with that one...

I have a crippling fear of the future. I'm not really scared of death. In fact, most of the time I think I'm just biding my time waiting for it. I am afraid something terrible is going to happen though. I'm afraid I'll be in an accident and wind up paralized or unable to form thoughts more than 2 words long. I'm afraid I'll be horribly disfigured or end up terminal. I'm afraid that life as I know it will take a turn for the worse.
So I try to rush through things and make the most of everything right now, to a fault. I don't really give a shit what happens tomorrow. I don't really care if I have all the peices today to build the scenarios I want, I try to make things happen anyway.
I've been thinking about learning survival skills. I think we'll find ourself fighting each other for food in our lifetime.
It has been more than a week since I've smoked a cigarette.

Today's date is June 11, 2004. Date of departure is (nearly officially) July 13, 2004. I have a $1,000 plane ticket to buy. I have some $2,500 classes to register and pay for. I have a (hard-copy) letter that I need received from the school, proving that I've registered and payed for classes. I need a (hard-copy) letter from a doctor stating that I'm in general good health. I need a notorized letter from my mum saying that I'll be financially secure. I need to have some more passport photos taken. I need to register for medical insurance abroad. I need to compose a letter designating Dan Miller as my legal representative so that he can drop the application at the Chicago consulate. The process takes two to four weeks. Let's not forget to mention that I'm working 6am - 5pm with no lunch. OMG what a whine-o. So the deal is I'll have to visit Chicago when it's ready and pick it up IN PERSON.

I'm torn because I don't know whether or not to purchase an iPod. We'll see what happs.

I don't wanna be mean or anything, but this blog has become pathetic -- and why? Just because I was gone for a bit and am now overwhelmed with objectives, doesn't mean you all have to quit with the long diary-like posts. It's not fair to make me feel responsible! Let's get the inspiration rolling again. Everyone do your part today!

I've made about $1,000 selling things I don't use.

Let me explain what's going on real quick. This is hard to explain, because I don't really want to sound like something I don't want to sound like -- but I probably am it anyway so I guess I'll just have to deal with that. So among all the self cleansing and discipline I've been putting myself through lately I've somehow, and understandably, been accruing all this sort of space and freedom -- which at the same time, and also understandably, was feeding this floating, lost, or confused thing that's always going on. The ever-growing feelings of shame and/or embarrassment for living in and contributing to the nation had been for long again uncovered and they come into play here, but just a little bit. So as all of this was being soaked up I remembered that a few months earlier an opportunity'd been thrown my way, which I'd completely ignored. You have no idea how melodramatic and semi-literal that last sentence was by the way, but I'm going to reveal how completely lame it was by telling you that this little revelation was stumbled upon somehow while running through the cats and dogs of some terrible thunderstorm. Whatever. Anyway, that's how things got started and though it's so impulsive and seemingly last minute -- well, you know how I do.

I'm going to Rochester again this weekend. Let's make this a super-active day.

Sher-bear: terrible

Nate: Thanks a ton.

Annie: Are you coming tonight? I can't even remember what you look like.

Tonight we are just having a show, no party. Tomorrow, Janel is having her art opening, and then we are having a grad party at our house for the both of us. It will be totally crushed out.

D - the store.

Nate: Did your iPod come with a USB cable for the dock, or how does that work?

Jennifriend: Yes. And yes!

We are having a show in our basement tonight. Everybody should come.

Hey blog!

Stop sucking.

I'm going to see Super Size Me tonight. It's that McDonalds movie that I think Shari posted about. Anyway it's at 7 at West Towne. Who's in?

I don't know.

Buy and print tickets at Marcus Theatres

sounds good, where do we get tickets? i am cross blogging this with the doty ranch to see who else might want to go.

Guys, Nate specifically. HP plays at Point at 6:30 on the UltraScreen! tomorrow. We should buy tickets today and I'll meet you there.

D, I may be a few minutes after 7, I have to stop at home and make a phone call.

oh and anyone who wants to bring any alcohol should, because we have like none and same with money -- for the vegetarians you mgiht also bring some special burgers -- or should some of us just go to the store? shari? hit me on the hip.

So tonight at 7, everyone is expected to come to my (new) house for a mini get together. We're going to try barbecuing again and it will be fun! Several of you are already coming, but those of you who aren't should definitely show up. OK THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.

I think I just found a new late night addiction.

Madison is pretty cool, you should like come up here for a few days you know. Theres a yearbook meeting tomorrow.