It's funny how the older I get, the less I understand. It's hard to demonstrate and discuss really, but the point is that I'm confused and cluttered. The more I begin to divest my baggage, the more space I feel with energy, time, and spirit. The time part might sound obvious, but there's definitely something beyond the level you're imagining. It's all just a bunch of burdon really. What I'm doing is manic and impulsive -- but really only counteracts that which brought me here firstly. Ok something else. I don't think anyone's as nervous as they should be. Maybe some people are, but I think it's safe to presume that otherwheres, they're a bit more anticipatory than those within. I really can't discuss this outside the interior of my own thought and imagery, so let's forget the whole thing. I've thus far walked my Tessbucket three times today. Some treks were greater in length than others, but she does seem a bit like exhausted. So she's lying beside the door while I listen to Nina Nastasia's. Of course, by the way, anything with sentiment will stay. Anyway I'll use what I'm doing to climb myself out, and hopefully reach an equilibrium with most everything that has one to be reached. It'd be nice to be closer at least! And yes it coincides with what are the happenings with my diet and activity, but I just feel LARGER. That's obviously also something that simply cannot be translated. I submitted a couple more applications today, and asked for more elsewheres as well. Let's hope something happens soon -- what do you think, Kat? Anyway I'm winded in and outside of this writing, so I'm going to do something else. Thank you guys for listening to me -- you really are the only ones who understand.